52 Week Blog Challenge- Week 8

An Unforgettable Day in My Life…….

As you get older, different things will matter to you or not matter depending on the day of the week or year it is happening. The greatest celebration in most people lives is the day they were born. Some people get together with friends and family, some have parties, some spend time alone or some do nothing because they don’t care. I, on the other hand, love birthdays!! I love celebrating and telling people “happy birthday”

A couple years ago, I turned 40 years old and it had been a milestone for me. I had accomplished so much in the first 40 years of my life from graduating high school, getting my first full-time job, getting married, having 3 children and earning a college degree. I wanted to celebrate my big 40 better than any other birthday. My birthday falls on New Years Eve and while that sounds like a great celebration but for me, it has always fell during a time where friends are rare and family is scarce. I got Christmas and birthday presents together. No parties or big celebration just the ball drop at midnight. I did get a chance to go to New York with my daughter a couple weeks before my birthday and it was so fun.

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So this is what I looked like for my 40 years young birthday……

Later that night, I was looking forward to going out but that didn’t happen. My birthday, of course, was on a Sunday and it was football season!! So, you can guess where this is going. My husband’s team was playing that evening and my kids were working. I spent my birthday with no friends, no family and to make it worse when the games ended at 11 pm, I was taken to “Hooters” of all places for bad drinks and no food!

By the way, I do not like going to restaurants where “someone’s daughter, sister, mother” is wearing basically underwear!! Never could understand why it is okay for establishments allow that much skin to be exposed when serving food or drinks…so unsanitary. You can’t imagine what came next……

That Sunday night through Monday night, I couldn’t eat or sleep at all. I had this picture in my mind how I would’ve celebrated my 40th and I guess I didn’t take in account that everyone else has plans and my birthday is not in the center of everyone’s life. It was more important to me than it was to anyone else. So, I realized after that birthday, I wouldn’t make a big deal out of it. I still take a photo on my birthday and still try to go out to dinner with my family. If we don’t, it’s no big deal.

Me at 41 and 42… I spent my birthday the past year with family and friends going out to dinner and was very happy.

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The Heart of a Dancer..A Queen Remembered

Good morning ladies and gentleman, as October comes to a close for the month, we remember those who have fought for their lives and are still fighting to this day to find a cure for a disease that comes in many forms. This month is Breast Cancer Awareness Month and our job is to be educated and aware of the early signs and stay united in the fight for the cure. Breast Cancer is not just a women’s disease but also a men’s disease.

I want to tell you a story about a daughter, mother, wife and accomplished dancer. Her name Sonia Vargas.

This is her story told by my dear friend Valerie Padilla, her daughter.

Sonia Vargas, 23 years ago never knew that simply taking a bathe would change her life forever. She worked as a secretary, was a dedicated mom, wife and she loved to dance. She taught her daughter Valerie, everything she knows about dancing, which I have witnessed first hand, from the Salsa, Tango, Fandango, Bolero and many more. Sonia was around 39 years old when she discovered a lump under her arm during a routine breast exam. Monthly exams of your breast are very important for early detection.

After discovering this lump, she immediately went to the doctor and had a mammogram done and they discovered a mass in the early stages. They were able to start her on chemo and began her fight. Sonia, a beautiful woman, lost all her hair and like most woman, the depression started and she felt she was no longer attractive. The family did everything they could to help her regain her confidence by buying her wigs and telling her she was beautiful everyday to keep her spirits up. Positive prayers and proper treatments made the cancer go away….so they thought.

One year later, the breast cancer that once was a distant memory, came back more aggresive. Sonia was given not alot of options accept for a masectomy. Women who are faced with the prospect of losing their breast, it is not an easy decision. We pride ourselves on how we look and in making this decision she decided to do nothing. Of course, the cancer decided to spread and it invaded so aggressively that it grew out of her body as a 3rd breast on her chest and became a part of her everyday life. She, like many women loved to look and smell good at all times and to have to live day by day with a growth on her chest, losing her hair and feeling sick all the time, it felt like she lost a big part of herself.

Her daughter Valerie, said that as her mom became sicker, she had to take care of her bathing and feeding her regularly. Valerie accounts that the growth smelled like rotten meat to everyone and people stared at her all the time. As the months went by, she became thin and frail and was admitted near Fathers Day of June 1998. The hospital she was admitted to was where she worked and she had the best care around her family and friends. When she was in the hospital, her doctor told her that it was so aggressive that chemo was not working and there was no cure.

She had to make another decision and she decided to keep it from her kids. Valerie was a teenager and being the oldest of 3 children, she felt helpless, pain and she wanted to do everything she could to take care of her mom. Her mom was her inspiration and hero growing up doing the dance group together and she just wanted to help her mom. After awhile, Sonia couldn’t speak but she could hear everyone. All her family, friends and co-workers did a prayer chain and sent flowers to lift her spirits.

October 24, 1998, Sonia Vargas got her wings at the age of 42 and left behind a spirit in her family that will last forever. It has been 21 years and Valerie celebrates life everyday for her.

Valerie and the women of her Empowerment Group just recently took a trip to Puerto Rico October 11, 2019 and we celebrated Valerie’s 43rd birthday!! Chapter 43 for Valerie was important to her and sharing her moms story touched all of us.

Her moms angelic looks, spirit, heart for dance, her love and caring for others and beautiful personality inside and out shines through her everyday.

Below is a chart of what to look for when you do your monthly breast exam. Early detention is the key.

I want to give a big thank you to Valerie Padilla for allowing me to share her mom’s story and to educate other women about the importance of early detection and treatments.

“Living my birthdays not just for me but for my mom’s life” Valerie Padilla

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31 Day Challenge-Day 19

Okay so for this challenge, I asked my loving family who knows my comings and goings and how I operate. I told them to give me one thing that they find is one of my worst habits. Here we go:

My husband Brian said:

“You do not close the lids or put lids on things tightly.”

Okay, so, in my defense, I do this and it is not a good habit. Sometimes I spill stuff but other times I get lucky and don’t. As to closing the lids on jars, I can’t do it that tightly because of carpal tunnel and I can open lids that great so I use a can opener or ask someone to do it for me…lol

My oldest son Brian said:

“You put things in the shopping cart at the grocery store that are not on the list.”

Okay, again, in my defense, I forget to put things on the list. Every time we go to the store, it seems there are things we need and I forget..lol

My daughter Briana said:

“You yell too much.”

Guilty as charged on all three so far….yelling is my way of getting my point across after I have already said it numerous times. I think most people do this when they feel ignored, I am trying not to do it all the time now so I don’t raise my blood pressure.

My youngest son Devon said:

“You leave lights on too much.”

Okay, so this is my light in my office…I tend to leave it on every time I leave my office but I am coming right back. He goes behind me and turns every light off..lol

As for me, I think my worst habit is:

“I warm up to people to quickly without getting to know them from the background.”

What I mean by this is, I have met a lot of people in my life and because I want to assume the best in them, they become a part of my life without me really seeing who they are in many different situations. I am one of a few women who do not have many close friendships with people due to the fact that many have shown their true cards on the table after they see that I am a nice person. I am a positive person and do not like drama, so for me to become friends with you, I expect that you show me who you are before I find out. Communication is a strength f mine and most people who know me, know I mean what I say and do. I am not transparent and what you see is what you get.

That’s all I got for you today…stay tuned for Day 20 tomorrow. Don’t forget to

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Friendship…How many do you really have?

The meaning of friendship to me is a person who is there for you through the good and the bad. The people who call you for no reason to see how you are, catch up with you on current events and making sure you are doing well. I have had my fair share of what I would call Friendships for the Moment because people have taken advantage of how generous I am and use me for the what they can get out of me. Or the friendships that come from having something in common like one friend-those never last for me because everyone eventually goes off and is separated from the new person in the group.

Friendships are made when you are younger and also when you are older. Personalities change and interests come with most friendships. Most relationships can withstand the test of the time with living in the same neighborhood and sharing their lives together. Friendships long ago used to last years but given the changing of people and the technology, it becomes increasingly harder to maintain a solid friendship these days. I have seen people on Facebook and Instagram rate their friendships by likes and comments on their posts and it causes people to unfriend. Friendships are not based on likes, it is all about how we support one another through the good and bad times. Supporting one another through achievements and failures is what is needed to show love to another.

Friendships come in many forms from pets, family and couples. Loyalty is the number one in friendships…which is so hard to find these days. Love comes in many forms and recognizing it can be the beginning of a long lasting friendship.

In the past year, I have had the privilege of meeting some incredible people and am thankful everyday for their friendships. I met a man 20 years ago who started out as my boss, then an acquaintance then….we all know how the story goes. My husband of 20 years, we are best friends for life. About 23 years ago, when I was 18, I met a women who I never knew would make such an impact on my life to this day. We understand each other and have watched both our lives unfold -the good and the bad. She has been there for me and still is. Although we live miles away, she is my BFF for life and nothing will ever change that.

To answer my question: How many friends do you have? I have 2 Bff’s I love dearly .

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