The Heart of a Dancer..A Queen Remembered

Good morning ladies and gentleman, as October comes to a close for the month, we remember those who have fought for their lives and are still fighting to this day to find a cure for a disease that comes in many forms. This month is Breast Cancer Awareness Month and our job is to be educated and aware of the early signs and stay united in the fight for the cure. Breast Cancer is not just a women’s disease but also a men’s disease.

I want to tell you a story about a daughter, mother, wife and accomplished dancer. Her name Sonia Vargas.

This is her story told by my dear friend Valerie Padilla, her daughter.

Sonia Vargas, 23 years ago never knew that simply taking a bathe would change her life forever. She worked as a secretary, was a dedicated mom, wife and she loved to dance. She taught her daughter Valerie, everything she knows about dancing, which I have witnessed first hand, from the Salsa, Tango, Fandango, Bolero and many more. Sonia was around 39 years old when she discovered a lump under her arm during a routine breast exam. Monthly exams of your breast are very important for early detection.

After discovering this lump, she immediately went to the doctor and had a mammogram done and they discovered a mass in the early stages. They were able to start her on chemo and began her fight. Sonia, a beautiful woman, lost all her hair and like most woman, the depression started and she felt she was no longer attractive. The family did everything they could to help her regain her confidence by buying her wigs and telling her she was beautiful everyday to keep her spirits up. Positive prayers and proper treatments made the cancer go away….so they thought.

One year later, the breast cancer that once was a distant memory, came back more aggresive. Sonia was given not alot of options accept for a masectomy. Women who are faced with the prospect of losing their breast, it is not an easy decision. We pride ourselves on how we look and in making this decision she decided to do nothing. Of course, the cancer decided to spread and it invaded so aggressively that it grew out of her body as a 3rd breast on her chest and became a part of her everyday life. She, like many women loved to look and smell good at all times and to have to live day by day with a growth on her chest, losing her hair and feeling sick all the time, it felt like she lost a big part of herself.

Her daughter Valerie, said that as her mom became sicker, she had to take care of her bathing and feeding her regularly. Valerie accounts that the growth smelled like rotten meat to everyone and people stared at her all the time. As the months went by, she became thin and frail and was admitted near Fathers Day of June 1998. The hospital she was admitted to was where she worked and she had the best care around her family and friends. When she was in the hospital, her doctor told her that it was so aggressive that chemo was not working and there was no cure.

She had to make another decision and she decided to keep it from her kids. Valerie was a teenager and being the oldest of 3 children, she felt helpless, pain and she wanted to do everything she could to take care of her mom. Her mom was her inspiration and hero growing up doing the dance group together and she just wanted to help her mom. After awhile, Sonia couldn’t speak but she could hear everyone. All her family, friends and co-workers did a prayer chain and sent flowers to lift her spirits.

October 24, 1998, Sonia Vargas got her wings at the age of 42 and left behind a spirit in her family that will last forever. It has been 21 years and Valerie celebrates life everyday for her.

Valerie and the women of her Empowerment Group just recently took a trip to Puerto Rico October 11, 2019 and we celebrated Valerie’s 43rd birthday!! Chapter 43 for Valerie was important to her and sharing her moms story touched all of us.

Her moms angelic looks, spirit, heart for dance, her love and caring for others and beautiful personality inside and out shines through her everyday.

Below is a chart of what to look for when you do your monthly breast exam. Early detention is the key.

I want to give a big thank you to Valerie Padilla for allowing me to share her mom’s story and to educate other women about the importance of early detection and treatments.

“Living my birthdays not just for me but for my mom’s life” Valerie Padilla

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Book Review #1:Rachel Hollis

Hey hey guys, I am doing something a little bit different these coming months where I am going to introduce you to my world of reading. Now, I will admit, I have not read a book all the way through since 50 Shades of Grey Part 1 came out but I have always wanted to read interesting works by other writers. The book I am going to review this month is a book written by a great women who loves to help other women get out of their way and see what the potential that they already have. Growing from tragedy and being able to be successful in life with some bumps along the way is real-life for her and she wants you to know-ITs Normal! Introducing a lady I highly respect for her courage and empowerment of other: Rachel Hollis

I read this book from cover to cover and was amazed at the similiarities we have. I thought I was the only one thinking and going through it. For those of you who do not know who Rachel Hollis is, she is a Mom of 3 boys and a 1 girl, wife to Dave Hollis and founder of a lifestyle website TheChicSite.com and Ceo of her own Media company. She has alot of followers online via instagram, facebook, youtube etc. She is a woman who likes to tell it like it is, she encourages, enlightens and works to help others acheive the same sense of confidence she exudes throughout everything she does with the help of God.

I am going to review this book in 4 parts:

Why did I pick this book to read?
What part of the book, really hit home for me: (ex. made me cry or have a aha moment)?
What is one thing I took away from the book that I will change in my life?
How would I rate this book out of 5 stars?

Rachel Hollis: Girl, Wash Your Face

I picked this book because it came highly recommended online. I was curious as to what washing my face meant so I said this might be a great book just by the title, so I bought it. I never realized when I opened it, I would never be able to put it down. It spoke to me so well. Everything, well almost everything, was so similiar to my life I couldn’t believe that this nice young lady had gone through all that and still managed to be a great women waking up everyday helping people with her wisdom and lending a helping hand.
A part in the book that really hit home for me was Chapter 15: I Will Never Get Past This- when she talked about her family. Not being as close as she wanted to be after the tragedy just trying to salvage what was left of her relationships and picking up the peices and moving forward in church and counseling, which is always the best medicine. I cried through the whole chapter.
One thing she stressed so much in her book about is being happy with who you are. It doesnt matter what you didnt accomplish or who hurt you in your past, you are responsible for your own happiness. Never let others believe you are never good enough to try new things or pick up where you left off with years ago. Always try to be you and be happy for you not anyone else. I realized that in trying to make others happy all at once, I have made myself unhappy. I have decided to run away from toxic or negative things and let others be unhappy by themselves and take care of me first. Be there after I am taken care of then console others.
5- star rating from me for original content, very personable and uplifting!

Looking forward to reading her other book:

Girl, Stop Apoligizing

Ordered my copy from Barnes and Nobles today and will start reading after my 2nd book which is from a new first time author who writes about how the word of God influences your life processes everyday. Click link below to purchase Marcus Myrick’s

Click link to purchase e-book at: Amazon.com

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Friendship…How many do you really have?

The meaning of friendship to me is a person who is there for you through the good and the bad. The people who call you for no reason to see how you are, catch up with you on current events and making sure you are doing well. I have had my fair share of what I would call Friendships for the Moment because people have taken advantage of how generous I am and use me for the what they can get out of me. Or the friendships that come from having something in common like one friend-those never last for me because everyone eventually goes off and is separated from the new person in the group.

Friendships are made when you are younger and also when you are older. Personalities change and interests come with most friendships. Most relationships can withstand the test of the time with living in the same neighborhood and sharing their lives together. Friendships long ago used to last years but given the changing of people and the technology, it becomes increasingly harder to maintain a solid friendship these days. I have seen people on Facebook and Instagram rate their friendships by likes and comments on their posts and it causes people to unfriend. Friendships are not based on likes, it is all about how we support one another through the good and bad times. Supporting one another through achievements and failures is what is needed to show love to another.

Friendships come in many forms from pets, family and couples. Loyalty is the number one in friendships…which is so hard to find these days. Love comes in many forms and recognizing it can be the beginning of a long lasting friendship.

In the past year, I have had the privilege of meeting some incredible people and am thankful everyday for their friendships. I met a man 20 years ago who started out as my boss, then an acquaintance then….we all know how the story goes. My husband of 20 years, we are best friends for life. About 23 years ago, when I was 18, I met a women who I never knew would make such an impact on my life to this day. We understand each other and have watched both our lives unfold -the good and the bad. She has been there for me and still is. Although we live miles away, she is my BFF for life and nothing will ever change that.

To answer my question: How many friends do you have? I have 2 Bff’s I love dearly .

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31 Day Challenge-Day 6

Personality traits that I am proud of…there is just so many…I guess I can do 3..1.

My heart is really huge. I love to care for others and give when I can. I have spent my life making sure that my family and friends were well taken care of before my needs. I don’t like to see others struggle so I do my best to make them feel better and help them as much as possible.

2. I am a very decisive person. When I roll up to a drive-thru restaurant, I am already aware of what I want to eat before I get there. In life, you have to make several decisions and I think it is important to clear about what you want so that there is no wasted time.

I love making people laugh. I am a very positive person who loves to spread joy around. I believe that laughter is the best medicine to a happier life. If you can’t laugh everyday, then your life is not complete.

Well, those are only 3 of my best traits…I have more but maybe some other time. Don’t forget to:

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Tattoos…a storybook written for the body

Tattoos..a story written for every individual like an autobiography published that explains the road traveled by most with failures, accomplishments, tragedies, life lessons learned and thing to be proud of expressed on the body. Most of us have our story hidden but the rest of us want people to know what we have gone through. In many religions, it is sacred to deface the body of a human with any kind of piercings or tattoos but why deprive one of such an opportunity to express themselves.

I saw a photo of a lady who wanted to take her story and give it a happy ending. Her life consisted of being sad, covering up the scars turned her from a victim to a survivor…..

In another life, people write down who they place their heart and soul with….then it gets broken, that story gets told through love quotes and a broken heart for the end…..

Proud parents who cherish their children and want to celebrate the day they were born with names and dates over and over again..on the other side the sad soul who lost their love and life in one moment, writing numbers and symbols in remembrance….

Believing in your country and what it stands for while being proud of who you are …making your mark on the world with being part of history, celebrating your freedom…..

Reliving a moment in your life that you thought you would never achieve and look on as others admire your accomplishment no matter how big or small…..

Rooting for your favorite team and supporting them with your dedication to their organization….or keeping with your family markings for generations to come…..

Admiring your environment and loving the way the Earth births beautiful things so you want to see this on you day after day……

These are some of the ways to write your story for the world….this is My Storybook.

My name is LaFrieda and I am a mom of three, wife and my family is the love of my life. I currently have 5 tattoos on my body representative of me living my life. My left arm has my very first tattoo of my three kids names in a heart designed by me. My second on the right leg has a tigers face on it, representing my love for animals with my children’s names under it. My third on the left leg has another full body tiger helping me go down a road to greatness in my life. My fourth on the right arm, success in graduating from college at 38 years old while working a full-time job and taking care of a family and last, the one on my left thigh, begun my journey to live life to the fullest despite the failures I had in life…I would get better and stronger after devastation. Right now I am currently working on my 6th story for my right thigh…I am thinking it will have something to do with my love for music.

I am trying to decide between these two…let me know which one would be nice on my right thigh…

I sketched both of these myself…I just can’t decide which one to go with. Which one A or B?

“Never be ashamed of your story…it is Who You Are“ L.S.

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Mothers….the reason for our existence

The love of motherhood…..👩‍👩‍👦‍👦👩‍👩‍👧‍👧👩‍👦👩‍👧👩‍👧‍👦
From pregnancy…to birth….to boo boos, to first day of school🎒, to first date💑, to graduation🎓, to weddings💃 and Grand kids👶👧…we are so extraordinary for our strength day-to-day. So In honor of Mother’s Day I ask my mothers……

“What is the one thing you treasure most about being a mother?”

“The one thing I treasure most about being a mother…..
I love when I can be a part of every aspect of my teens life. Every emotion from happiness about making the team, to sad when they get a bad grade after studying hard, being heartbroken over a crush and being super excited when they get accepted at the college they wanted to go!! When I have seen my children from birth experience life and I can be there to either celebrate their accomplishments or comfort them in their disappointments. As a proud mom…I love it!!”😍

LaFrieda Smith

Mom of 3(2 boys and 1 girl), Entrepreneur and Blogger.

Kate Scully

Mom of 2 boys, Entrepreneur and Health/Wellness Coach

“Tough question! I would have to say the fact that I get to help shape two people who WILL be such a positive force in this world – and to truly understand what unconditional love is – motherhood is it ALL!”

Marquita Myrick

Mom of 2, Entrepreneur, Mindset Coach and Professional Coach

“Just one? lol I treasure the teaching moments I have with my kids because I know that all I invest into them now will show up differently and refined to them when they’re older. I like knowing I’m a huge part of their foundation.” 😊

Jennifer Kennel

Mom of 3 girls, Owner of Confident Beauty by Jenn and Online Boutique Boss

“Hmmm… Gosh, this is a hard question! I think one thing that I have come to treasure about being a mom is the relationship change. Like, I treasure all the memories of when my children were little. And, I miss those early years. Even my youngest, is 14 now and so I am not needed the way I once was.. I don’t get many of those, I want to cuddle mom, she’s the best, coolest person ever moments.. But, since my oldest has moved out and started living her life on her own, there is more understanding, more respect and appreciation. Not to mention, she comes to me as one of her best friends, not because she has to, because I am her mom.. But, because she wants to.. She loves me, she trusts me, we are real friends and even though I am not needed the way I once was.. I am still needed and seeked out, on a different level now.. <3″

Laura Luly Bortos

Mom of 2 boys, Entrepreneur and Holistic health enthusiasts

“That I get to teach and guide my children every day and watch them grow.“

Chris Tina

Mom 1 daughter, Entrepreneur and Holistic lifestyle advocate

“Wow, there is so much. I love the unconditional love, the ability to grow every day and be a better person than I was the day before, getting a chance to being a part of my kids journey,...💕💕💕”

Michiko Riezz

Mom of 2(1 daughter, 1 son) Life and business coach & Int. Speaker

” Being able to be a kid again!! As a mom of a boy I treasure seeing him grow into a loving romantic gentlemen not afraid of his feelings and always seeing the little boy he will never grow out of. As a mom of girl I treasure playing dress up showing her how to do her make-up running and playing outside doing Cartwheels and Flips, and practicing her cheer routine.
Being a mom is the most wonderful person to be!”

Erica Nicole

Mom of 2 (1 boy and 1 girl) Moderator for Liberated Ladies

“Hearing my kids laugh and have fun.”

Mea Rivers

Mom of 1 daughter, Owner and Manager Of Care Circle LLC

“Knowing that Genesis loves me no matter what, my flaws and all.
Being able to raise an African-American woman to be anything that she wants to be, although challenging but she has the opportunity.
Looking into her eyes and know that God chose me to bring this angel of love into the world to make this world a better place just by having her here…
Oh you did say one thing” 😂

Gabrielle Clark

Mom to 1 daughter, Entrepreneur and Jewelry Queen

“EVERYTHING. I love my daughter so much.”

Deborah Johnston Craig

Mom of 2 (girl and boy) and School Teacher

“That whatever my kids may be feeling, whether good or bad, they come running to me. I’m their safe place.”

Erica Thompson

Mom of 2(1 boy and a girl) and Owner of Latte Creations

“Hmmmm my two little ones showing me how much they love me.”

Nicole Obeshine

Mom of 1 son, Certified Healer of Postpartum and Blogger

“All the wisdom and knowledge that Dylan teaches me. He is in the moment, free from judgement, and honors who he is and how he feels.”

Margo Wooten

Mom and Grandma

“Treasure ? My time alone to go to pee in peace when my husband is home from work.”

Valerie Padilla

Mom of 1 son, Entrepreneur and Empowerment Advocate

“I live the ability to be a role model for him. I love teaching him to be protective, influential for others and how to be great being himself. I love it when he calls me mom, I love cooking for him and I just love everything about being his mom.”

I want to thank all these ladies for answering this question for me…you all are truly amazing!! If you would like find out more about these mom check them out on Facebook and Instagram

mothers day flowers

Thank you to all Mother’s on this day…you are truly appreciated!! Happy Mother’s Day!!

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“The cover comes off…No more filters!”

“The Cover Comes Off….No More Filters!”
“The other day, my daughter was getting ready for her date and she asked me “Do these pants make me look fat..and does my hair look right?” I said, “You look beautiful princess.”

“The question I am asking myself is, “Why am I telling her she is beautiful, when I can’t even be convinced myself I am beautiful on the outside as well as inside…so I decided…No More hair extensions, perms, just natural back to my roots. Lip gloss and baby oil.”

-I have short grey hair….why?….Life and illness
-Stretchmarks on stomach, butt and thighs….why?….3 beautiful angels born who are my whole world
-Boobs sag almost to my stomach…why?….Its Gravity..lol
-I forget things sometimes….why?….Im 41
-I gained 10 lbs this last year….what am I doing about it?……Eating healthier and walking

*So in Essence…I want men and women to know that until you are comfortable with your own skin inside as well as outside, the world will always expect you to look like you came out of a magazine. Inspired by my beautiful princess, Briana. Love you mom❤

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Letter to my wife…..20 ain’t enough.

My husband told me the other day that he had a dream and when he woke up he had a 5-line Limeric in his head of our last 20-years of marriage💍…he said “I wrote it down and went write back to sleep..If I hadn’t I’m sure I would’ve forgotten it..lol”. So he read it to me….I 😢

To my wife:
20 years married is alot to serve
with each other we quite deserve
Happy, sad, bored or excited
together as one we stand united
and with this I ask for the next 20 to reserve.

Love you so much babe❤😘🎸😢

Happy💍 20th Wedding Anniversary…I had such a beautiful second honeymoon with you in Daytona!!🏖👫☺

Check out my April 9th blog post in the “My Story” section to see more about us.

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Its Our Anniversary…Yeah, Yeah..with TTT

Today, April 9, me and my husband celebrate 20 years of marriage💍. We have been each others best friend, confident, lover and although we have had our tough battles with race, age, and differences of opinion in society, we are stronger than ever and don’t plan on stopping our hearts from beating as one❤I love him more and more everyday….20 years of marriage, 3 angels and 2 rock-n-roll souls forever🎸I love you my King👑😘

On our 2nd honeymoon here in Daytona Beach….enjoy the rest of the week everyone.

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Thank you to all my readers❤🎸🏀

Marriage and Relationships are like owning a business….ladies & gentleman

Married almost 20 years and have realized that everything needs constant attention!!

Happy Valentine’s Day to all the relationships that exist in this world from married, to just dating, great friendships or parents who are so in love with their children as I am. We have to treat every relationship with care and make sure we keep our attention to those we love and cherish for they are who we have when life gets rough and who helps us celebrate our accomplishments.

*Marriage and relationships are like a business and I am not talking about the rich and famous who get together for the benefit of their finances but I am talking about maintaining ( 6 ) good practices day in-day out.*

#1 The Interview– When you go on a job interview, the employer ask questions about you and qualifications, just like when you go on a date. This first date will determine whether there is a second or not…so make a good impression always.

#2 Customer Satisfaction- When you are in business, your customers are the most important for sustaining your business, in a relationship, couples need to know when their needs aren’t being met and what they need to improve on.

#3 Communication- When you are in business, make sure that you are knowledgeable about the products and services you are are selling and where they are coming from, in a relationship, it is important to keep all lines of conversation open to let the partner know where you are in your thoughts and feelings about certain topics. If something bothers you or is offensive and hurts you let them know. This allows for each person to get to know where each other’s placement and views come from.

#4 Quotas- With any successful business, there are deadlines, schedules and maintenance needed to keep the business fresh and new, meanwhile, in a relationship, whether you are abstinent or having intercourse regularly, it is very important to have time set aside for Maintenance needed on both ends. Making plans for date night every week incorporating family events or just some self-reflection time makes for a healthier relationship. It also gives an opportunity for excitement and adrenaline rush like when you know you are about to go on vacation from work. Time is precious-use it wisely.

#5 On-boarding of New Recruits- When in business, employees specialties come into play when it comes to a successful operation. Now, when it comes to relationships-I am not talking about three-somes and freaky stuff-O.M.L. I am talking about friendships with couples alike. Making connections with others like yourself and spending time exchanging stories while having a good time, it helps relationships grow. It is okay to be each other’s best friend at times because being able to laugh with one another is a plus for a healthy union.

#6 The Bottom-line- When you are running a business, there are going to be times of success and failures. Mistakes made in business can be costly, so you have to get together as a team and figure out what is needed to get back on track. In relationships, we are all human and make mistakes and as a team we must communicate, apologize and forgive mistakes. Find out from each other what is needed to do better next time. Open lines of communication keep the relationship and individual changing for the better. Closing the door, leads to heartache and shutdown.

Happy Valentines Day from a wife of almost 20 years married to my best friend who has made mistakes and has learned alot through these practices. May the relationships you share be as fulfilling as mine. Love, LaFrieda and Brian 2019